This morning was difficult. My heart hurt so much.
Today AJ came to pick up his things that hubby and I packed up on New Year’s Eve. He came to the house after dark last night, unannounced, and wanted his phone and vape. First of all, he was supposed to either have a police escort, or call ahead to have his stuff put on the driveway (for safety reasons. Last time he was here he said he “wanted to kill all of us”). Neither one happened so I told him he could come by today, Sunday, and his things would be on the driveway, supervised, awaiting him.
He didn’t seem to like that, but had no choice but to comply.
So this mourning, with trembling hands and a nervous stomach Hubby and I placed his belongings outside.
It took him half an hour to make it here, but he and his friend brought both vehicles and packed in as much as they could. He asked hubby if he could come back another day to get his bike, mattress, and the little couch.
We gave him until Friday.
Oh my heart…
As he was finishing up I chose to go out to him and hug him.
That. Was. Emotional!
I shook as I cried and told him I love him and I just want him to get better.
He said he would. He promised.
I hope for him that he keeps that promise.
I just want him to live. And live fully. And heal. And, ultimately, seek Jesus.
And receive Jesus love and healing.
Side Note …
While I watched from the safety of the stairs in the garage I played worship music to relieve my nervousness.
You wanna know what happened?
Peace came. Comfort arrived from The LORD and calm returned with His nearness.
Yesterday He gave me the verse that says, “Dear friends, don’t be afraid of those who want to kill your body; they cannot do any more to you after that. But I’ll tell you whom to fear. Fear God, who has the power to kill you and then throw you into hell. Yes, He’s the one to fear.” – Luke 12:4-5 NLT
I didn’t tell hubby that God gave me this verse and then this morning he quoted it!
And then during my tea & quiet time with The LORD I read Psalm 138 and it hit hard. It reads:
I give you thanks, O LORD, with all my heart; I will sing your praises before the gods. I bow before your holy Temple as I worship. I praise your name for your unfailing love and faithfulness; for your promises are backed by all the honor of your name. As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength. Every king in all the earth will thank you, LORD, for all of them will hear your words. Yes, they will sing about the LORD’s ways, for the glory of the LORD is very great. Though the LORD is great, he cares for the humble, but he keeps his distance from the proud. Though I am surrounded by troubles, you will protect me from the anger of my enemies. You reach out your hand, and the power of your right hand saves me. The LORD will work out his plans for my life- for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.
Psalm 138 NLT
I don’t know where you are in your life and what you are walking through or healing from, but I know Someone Who will never leave you nor forsake (give up) on you; His name is Jesus and He can love this hot mess, you, friend, are definitely not too far gone either.
Truth be told, we’re never too far gone until we’re actually gone. So I encourage you today to seek Him for everything while it’s still today.